Otopeni

I pause, after being exposed to somewhat of an exhilarating experience, that one as say is totally away from what I've been into all of my life. One could say that it's no big deal that someone from a third world country has traveled and seen what the real civilized world is all about, but - as I have expected - for me it is a little different.

Maybe because I tend to observe too much, absorb too much, and try to come up with conclusions and a section where I can put "What I've learned" from this, that or whatever experience I've been through.

Well, it is widely known that traveling around the globe makes you different, one way or the other. Adds to you a lot, and submerges other parts of you underneath. I'm not gonna talk about what I've learned nor banter about the various things I've seen through my very brief journey that could not be compared to other people's experiences on traveling, because generally there are people who travel all the time and never come to be that emotional about it.. well, I'm different.. A child to to speak, so bear with me while I expose some of the childish inexperienced sides of me out there..

It all kicks in after it is all over! True for me at least. Everything taking place just passes in front of my eyes like a film on a reel, but not just visible, but touchable, in all dimensions of sensation if you know what I'm talking about. The first time is seldom forgotten. Now just names pass by, names of places, names of people, smiling faces, anticipating faces, drunk faces, streets, forests, shops, lounges, airplanes.. they all pass by so quickly, not just pass by the brain, but by the whole body in a way that I cannot fathom nor explain precisely.

I'm just in a moment of "feeling" maybe, then afterwards it will fade away, but I couldn't help but write through it as it is here. I love it, as it makes me feel alive. Later on a dull Grey object will come over to sweep it of and leave it as a mere remote memory flashing a weak light that acts as a homing beacon that I have something that could be called "good memories". Yeah, you don't really miss it till its gone away..

I'm officially in love with a place. And I'm already broken-hearted. Yet this heart-break only makes me smile with the amount of good memories I've had in that place. It leaves me feeling pretty much alright, like the feeling you get after a terrible headache goes away. Oh there was pain of ignorance and now it is no more, thank God who teaches.

Seeing people happy and smiling from their hearts was really what I wanted to see, and I've seen it. There are miserable souls in every place in the world, but it was great to see people from all colors living in harmony together in one place, one school, one street, standing having brief talks in the street, smiling as they greet each other, and there were as well others with a serious frown on their faces, but let's leave those unattended at the moment as I've had my fair share of them.. *pause*

I can't forget that short black woman wearing a simple dress, most probably working as a simple government employee, one that you could pass on in the street as totally unnoticeable, yet, she was talking to a group of what you could call "really" noticeable white people, all well-dressed looking really handsome, they were having a conversation and the black lady was smiling at them widely, and they were happy that she was there. She had this sort of energy coming out of her eyes.. the kind of energy that makes you smile at her without helping it, and makes you feel quite contented that you've run into someone like that.

The thing is, in the human physical sense of things, that lady should never be happy. First of all she's not at all beautiful, she's not slim, she looks like she has trouble walking easily, thus climbing the bus, thus you figure out the rest yourself, living in a fast-paced beauty-appreciating less-than-merciful society. That lady should NOT be happy, if life in the West is the way we've been taught! Yet.. I can never forget that face of hers with that huge smile, that continued when she greeted her attendees and walked away. That's not hypocrisy, that was genuine.

Or maybe I'm just too overwhelmed, and throwing delusional judgments all around. Well, the definite thing is that the world out there is totally different from how it is viewed from inside our clown-colored shell. Its not about the materialistic gizmo's, nor the colorful life venues, those who might think that of me are in totally ignorance of who I really am. It is deep, it is a culture. It is not like everyone walking down the sidewalk there is totally aware of where he's going and where he is right now, of course not, but something is definitely wrong within us.

I'm not corrupted yet and that makes me feel better about myself. But the porcupine tree I've descended from definitely contains some corrupt branches.

Bless us all..