The Post before 40

Someone has advised me recently to go back to writing, so here it is.

The changes that took place on yours truly on the recent years, have basically made me less poetic, with less patience for digging into the literature of everything and everyone passing through the story of my life.

Some of the gained abilities - while surely walking towards 40 - actually cancel out many of the 20s and early 30s assured wisdoms that I thought I have gained. The only thing I haven't lost I think is the ability to express in clear words how things are, or how I feel. I also haven't lost the ability to avoid confrontation, but I think I have had better successes recently than before.

The only thing that stays as stable as Time itself, is the fact that I am my only best friend, no matter how many people surround me, no matter how much I feel for / or against them, no one gains access, no one can predict what I'm able to do, and very few people are able to read me.

The more the deeds that defy the belief system, the more the depth, and complexity.

 In 2 or so weeks 39 will be the number, and oh boy there's so much I've learned, not just about life in general, but also about myself. I surprised myself a lot, but what I hate the most is the lack of compassion and empathy that I now have towards human life in general, but at the same time, a super-human ability to participate into human activity, be part of it, and being asked over and over to participate again.

What do you see in me, I have no idea..

In general realizing your strengths require you to keep listening to your surroundings, from ALL different types of people you see and deal with everyday. Knowing how people see you, KNOWING that, will determine how things go for you/or against you, as you fight your way through this limited temporary imperfect life, inhabiting this biological life-form that is called homo-sapien.

The biggest walkaways from the past 39 years are along those lines: 

  • We know so little in the big scheme of life, we should not try to understand it, or try to find problems with it and solve it.
  • We as humans are so proud, yet so small and ignorant. No one knows everything, and whoever thinks they do are the definition of stupid.
  • The big questions of who we are and what we're doing here will never be answered with certainty while still breathing oxygen. Maybe when your lungs are filled with maggots you could get some answers.
  • We live on a thin shallow surface of a planet that looks like a ball, most of the creatures on that surface imitate how shallow that thin crust is.
  • Curiosity is the most dangerous time-bomb in human nature. It can lead to breakthroughs and the evolution of the race to the next level, and it can end your life as well. Be careful with it.
  • Values and principles don't change, people who try to apply them do, and almost always take them down into a pool of shit, sugarcoat them, and try to feed them to the masses.
  • Preaching something and doing something else - AKA Hypocrisy - is mostly a psychological disease, and some sort of a drug at the same time. Abusers take a hit, then search for the next one.
  • Doing a good deed and doing an instagram video of the emotions involved is bullshit. You do a good deed and you try to hide it, because you WANT to do it, not want to show other people that you did it. Yeah you could say it is motivating people to do good deeds, but feeding on the emotions and tears of people to get views is sadistic and you're a piece of shit for doing it.
  • Nobody's perfect, accept people as they are, unless you can't live with their flaws, then you choose others. If you can't choose then focus on the good, and be the better person. Even if you're not patient all the time, forgive yourself.
  • Humans make mistakes, that's the main attribute of Flesh and Blood. Forgiving yourself will make you a better person always. Hating yourself will start a spiral downward motion that will feed on all the good parts of you, till you're left with suicide.
  • Those who have the power of the love of others, are a weapon of mass destruction, mass goodness, or just wasted talent.
Enough for now, sorry for the avalanche of words.

In any case, I'm just talking to myself.

Love to Young Adorable Roaming Angel, no matter where it roams, and what it says.

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