Mask Face

Whoah, finally some privacy.

What can I say? What should I say? What is not what it used to be? and What is new with whatever I see? Just what?

This place acts as a sanctuary indeed. I look back at whenever I started posting my words in here, and think about how much one has changed dramatically, and I keep repeating myself a lot about this, but it is true, every time I drop by and read, I say that it HAS been a long trip, and thank God for whoever I am right now, hoping for the better as I stroll down the lanes of a short life.

To be straightforwardly honest, I absolutely feel like an alien, with every meaning the word could hold, a green-faced monster amongst a herd of white four-legged creatures; what intrigues them does not form the simplest forms of interest for me, what saddens them is like rain drops over my head, what they see I cannot comprehend, and what I see is absolutely invisible to them.

At the same time I can't seem to manage myself quite right, I'm getting as boring as a 3-year-old hamster, same ideas keep circulating in my head and are being frowned upon if mentioned, let alone carried out in actions. I see a lot, observe too much - maybe that's my curse - understand too well - or maybe just I'm imagining that I do - and in the end of the day I do not clearly know what should or should not be, unless subject it to my own ignorant judgment, which as we speak is biased totally against what I see and hear everyday.

Extremely against to be honest, to the extent of total and absolute rejection. Yeah that's hard. Makes one feel like solitary reaper (courtesy of William Wordsworth, as I visited his house a week ago) in his own virtual field somewhere in the hills that do not exist except some thousands of Kilometers away, singing as song that no one understands, except the very few that are as helpless as you are.

I am still immature then, I still have a lot to learn. Almost there, but in need for some time and patience, and I'm sure I am to get there inshaAllah. Mostly one needs his sense of achievement to roar atop the hill of his spirit, declaring its control over it.

Mind Control for sure is not missing, and maybe that's the problem.

Cheers

Comments

Sara said…
Seems like a long time since I last visited so I was caught off-guard. So I guess this no longer holds and your machine's up and running again? :D
2:19 pm, September 07, 2009
Gold said…
Quite peculiar indeed.. or maybe i just got used to it, but I had a dream of you several days ago, I thought you called..

Did you?
3:17 pm, September 07, 2009
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