A story? No, just an incident

It is not a walk in the park this life. Life is tough and you learn daily lessons. Acceptance of the events is one thing, which is the common practice that most people who actually accept do. I'm not talking about a syringe in my arm kind of acceptance, but those who survive difficult situations in general. So that's just one dimension of the story. Accepting the event itself is one thing, but accepting the engine that generates that event, and keeping the faith at the same time, is the most difficult part. See, that engine produces lots of good things, and produces a mass of bad things that could come your way any time of day. There are things that you see coming, due to karma or whatever, but that's a separate discussion altogether. And then there are things that happen due to other reasons, one of those reasons could be that people are generally corrupt on the mass production belt, so you have to choose who to trust really carefully, and that is just a fact so...

Six years later, here I am. Am I the same person? Not really. Have some upgrades of some parts of me, and then downgrades in others, if you wanna call them downgrades anyway. Overall I cannot complain, yet the thing I miss the most is inspiration, in the realm of creativity and the universe of artistic romantic simplicity. An artist is as good as his source of inspiration, and practice, and I don't have both; so a huge 6-year gap has occurred between myself and my "artistic" side, that left a huge volume of vacuum somewhere inside my creation. When vacuum starts leaking, there is a huge implosion that takes place, but the implosion is not what I should worry about; it is rather why the Goddamn leak happened in the first place, or rather a puncture, an accident that you cannot have controlled no matter what you did. On the professional level.. well, this is not a professional blog so no, not gonna discuss the professional advancements in here. Brain-wise, ye...

and I kept on reading who I was, which reminds me of who I really am. Definitely I've changed in great ways, but the backbone is still the same I presume. Still analytical, observant, and a smart ass who has his comments on almost every aspect of life. I can't seem to count the number of theories that I come up with on daily basis, and I seem to forget most of them, and some of them are even born on conversations. Wow! It is good that I remembered ever having a blog in the first place. God has been good to me, all thanks to Him! Being a happy husband and a father soon enough inshaAllah is proving to be quite a stereotype-breaker at my delight. Oh yes I LOVE breaking stereo-types, but this sure has it's negative side. Having a torch in a village that got used to darkness is for sure gonna turn some eyes upon you, some in curiosity, some smile happily for the light that you might be utilizing for your own good, and others might look in envy, for they have tried and tried to o...

The end of something, marking the beginning of something else. Life's struggles never end, a face that we generally try to avoid, but it has always been this way. Yet there are struggles, and there are other struggles. Dare I classify them? That would be from a personal point of view of course. There are struggles that are carried out in the outside world that require more of physical energy than any other, struggles that you go through with some movement of the different parts of the body, be them moving your vocal chords and aligning them with a compromised, balanced, and ethical flow of electricity flowing through the Grey being of the little organ utilizing the volume of the skull. Then there are struggles that go through that Grey organ as well; ones that have to deal with different chemical reactions inside the body as well, together with a form of alignment between the heart, the body, and the soul, aiming to reach a balance that sets the whole complexion of a human being at...

It is with great discomfort that I do confess that I am not eligible to get close to other humans for a very long period of time. It is neither good for me not good for them. I do not understand what is wrong with me, and till I do, I would not even attempt to bring my very unhealthy self to barge into anyone else's life and become an essential part of it. Things I do and am unable to comprehend, that have the habit of changing course in sharp angles at very short timings, and drive people around me crazy. Unstable and inconsistent as I am now, I do declare myself as being hazardous to myself, as well as those who are unlucky enough to care about me. I don't know what possesses me, or what on earth is going on with me, I really don't know, I swear I don't know. I do things in great belief, then the belief fades away as strong as it has started, in a glimpse of an eye. Escaping is not going to achieve anything, but what to be done is totally not within my knowledge the m...

Whoah, finally some privacy. What can I say? What should I say? What is not what it used to be? and What is new with whatever I see? Just what? This place acts as a sanctuary indeed. I look back at whenever I started posting my words in here, and think about how much one has changed dramatically, and I keep repeating myself a lot about this, but it is true, every time I drop by and read, I say that it HAS been a long trip, and thank God for whoever I am right now, hoping for the better as I stroll down the lanes of a short life. To be straightforwardly honest, I absolutely feel like an alien, with every meaning the word could hold, a green-faced monster amongst a herd of white four-legged creatures; what intrigues them does not form the simplest forms of interest for me, what saddens them is like rain drops over my head, what they see I cannot comprehend, and what I see is absolutely invisible to them. At the same time I can't seem to manage myself quite right, I'm getting as b...

Yeah she can walk. There she is carrying her leather soft bag and a huge file stuffed with papers, each group of papers with its own section, she is also good at classifying her papers, and the people that she meets. A hurried crossing of the road in the middle of the day, under the heat of a burning sun, she closes her eyes momentarily as she passes in front of one of the tall entrances of the old downtown buildings, the fresh breeze that crosses her face from the air conditioning encourages her to increase the speed of her pace, promising herself a cold cup of water and the cool silence of the booth, once she reaches it. She doesn't like to walk in haste, but in this heat it is a necessity. She recalls those winter days when she used to talk long walks within downtown with her father God rest his Soul, she used to walk with his hand holding hers in her favorite red dress, she was really young and he really made her feel safe, so whenever she traverses the same places alone in the...

I really don't know. As a manner of a private silent conversation between a man and his Creator, one dares not say I know. An overlook on the future could not seem that bright, in matters of readiness for example, one can't really say that things are that visible because they are simply in the hands of the Creator. All I know is what I feel now, and that it is not a really great feeling to be honest. the differences between human beings are mostly significant when dealing with problems. Some enthusiastic reactions from people who are living a certain state of mind or spirituality would immediately say "If you're not feeling that good then you should check your relationship with God, pray more, ask for forgiveness and things will be okay". On the other hand other people might ask more questions and analyze the situation more in order to try and come up with answers, also related somehow to their experiences that might be irrelevant to my situation so to speak. That...

What exactly is right? I can't tell! All I can say is that there is "Good", and then there is "Bad", then in the middle there are two strange multi-colored realms: The Realm of the Better, and the Realm of the Worse. I don't think there is anyone on the face of this earth that can be absolutely "Good", and I doubt that there are people who are absolutely "Bad" unless they have made the wrong choices for a very long time. That amount of time is only known to the Creator who has created every person for what he/she is precisely. Sometimes one might overload himself with the burdens of a Globe, as if he is responsible for the pains of the universe, taking into account that he might be the one responsible for easing it up for Millions, thus thinking that the way my life has become is not at all what I am supposed to be living, my mundane activities seem so small in my eyes to the extent of me wanting take the nearest exit to somewhere else, o...

No doubt about it! As a matter of fact there are recent developments in the psych of "People in my Range", that are said to have certain reasons. The reasons are the recent development of "Choices" in people's lives, starting from the Fifties of the Twentieth century on. I don't want to sound harsh, dark, or pessimistic, but all I will do is just provide my small Point of View upon what's going on around us all, that make a very small portion of people with full-hearted smiles on their faces. I've recently heard someone saying that people don't have patience anymore. All they want is just to grab what they can and grow instantly without taking much time in taking the "Known" steps of development. The reasons beyond that is the fast-paced life that we're undergoing now, that provides too much options for the individual at the same time, that guarantee the availability of a large number of "things to enjoy" at the same time....

I pause, after being exposed to somewhat of an exhilarating experience, that one as say is totally away from what I've been into all of my life. One could say that it's no big deal that someone from a third world country has traveled and seen what the real civilized world is all about, but - as I have expected - for me it is a little different. Maybe because I tend to observe too much, absorb too much, and try to come up with conclusions and a section where I can put "What I've learned" from this, that or whatever experience I've been through. Well, it is widely known that traveling around the globe makes you different, one way or the other. Adds to you a lot, and submerges other parts of you underneath. I'm not gonna talk about what I've learned nor banter about the various things I've seen through my very brief journey that could not be compared to other people's experiences on traveling, because generally there are people who travel all the ...

That is unlikely to occur in anyone else's life. Why so my dreams always provide me with an experience that I didn't have in real life, which makes me want to take this same experience in real life, have passion for it, so that everything else beside it seem tasteless. Is it because of a personality problem? I'm a delusional imaginative fella that is not eligible to live in real life? Or what? There is not other alternative explanation you see? Which makes me think of absolutely dumping the idea of remembering my dreams or even mentioning them to myself. Seems that I will have to drop a huge load off of myself in favor of being who my mind wants me to be, all in favor of a maintaining as stronghold. Indeed I am changing, and indeed my words are decreasing in number, and intensity, for the sake of actions that serve me, and for the sake of changes that mark the lineage of my life. The look in my eyes has definitely changed, and that is enough of a change. Quite enough.

Reflections.. after a while: Well.. It’s been a while since I actually WROTE anything, but I’ve been thinking a lot, and speaking to myself more. REALLY speaking to myself, u know those moments when you imagine that you are a narrator on a deep movie that leaves you with nothing solid, but in the middle it jogs your not so healthy brain, making you think about certain incidents in your life, reflect for a while until the next inspiration comes through the movie, displaying another thing that might’ve happened to you or someone close to you someday, and so forth. A low pitched voice that tells you something you may already know, telling it in the “matter of fact” matter of fact, and then it goes.. and then it comes back again.. and then it goes.. Whoever described the moon as being ‘silver’ is definitely blind.. because the moon is WHITE!! Jeez! Silver moon, come ON! Amidst a vast city there are a lot of people u know! You know some and the others you don’t know, but there i...

There is a great difference between a static web-page and a dynamic one. In static web pages you don't do anything but watch, or receive the information displayed on a certain form, and then you don't get to do anything with it, just view, store, and Bob's your uncle. On dynamic web-pages though, there are certain resources that you have - Very similar in nature to the ones on the static web page - that you can react with, give and take, provide information based on your understanding of what you could see on the rest of the content displayed. I could see in my own culture what I could call "Static Raising" of the offspring's in general, both the males who are supposed to be the leaders of the future, and the females who are supposed to be providers of the future leaders, but what actually happens is the effects of the "Static" form of providing information to the people who will start dealing with the givens of this life in the future, and the one...

Whether direct or indirect, denial does exist. We as humans tend to face things on our way through our lives, or choose not to face them although we might think that they chose to face us, but in reality things come our way according to choices we have already made, based on influences we have subdued upon the different entities that brush by us as we move along. Hesitantly, we investigate. A foot forward and another backwards, some things push us in forward motion yet the fog is present ahead, and the stern is closed as there is no way back. The choice has been made so the resulting chunk of consequences is blocking the path of motion, that is, if we want it to. Some people say that we choose our own paths, and we CAN pick up what most people call obstacles, and turn them into challenged that help us and aid us to prove that a human being really does have a choice, and the Human being's choice is definitely to conquer! Not to conquer as to divide God's land for the aim of his ...

There were a number of people complaining from Muslims around the world, different cultured and different backgrounds, but all Muslims who are complaining from other Muslims around them. Complaining from what? Well.. If you are a Muslim with a certain profile then you know what I am talking about. Well, my answer was the following: here is just one reality we have to accept here.. The Majority of People (not just Muslims), are suffering from a number of mental and psychological discrepancies that make them act in certain ways that seem "not so acceptable" by those who are not suffering from those same discrepancies.. Literally, we cannot categorize people as such, because maybe WE are the ones who are not on the correct path and they are the ones who are right, who knows? Also, this IS the way people have been all throughout history: the Majority have a certain not so sophisticated way of thinking and/or feeling that makes them do things without too much thinking and/or feeli...

Ask me about premonition, and I'll tell you a lot Talk to me about the sunny skies, though you live in a pot It is all your imagination, delusional on the spot At the end of the day your dreams are everything you've got! Let me tell you about a Duke, a tall dark handsome courageous able-bodied and able-minded young man who knows too much, yet could do little for the people of his own small shire, who are suffering from the lack of wits, power, wealth, and guidance. But now let us speak about the Duke himself, and the things flying around his head, his body, as well as the butterfly-like beings flowing through his insides in a swift yet not-so-gentle manner. Now let us close our eyes and take a step downwards, to switch the background scenery from the blue skies that are filled with cotton clouds, the green valleys and hills that extend to the end of sight, the small Grey city with all the human figures going back and forth, in and out of the small city, down to the colorless ta...

New things, old things.. Just a couple of things or maybe nothing at all. As random as it can be some thoughts are better not said out loud, or moreover better not be thought about at all! There is this one thing that one could spend a lot of time doing, which is disconnection from an entanglement. Once you're into something that provides another thing that connects with you somehow, or provides you with a reasonable cause to survive, or maybe shallowly satisfies a psychological need inside yourself, once you are entangled it is so hard to disconnect, and it takes training and self-control to a very aggressive extent! So, there are two factors controlling and affecting such a thing, the first is History in such a thing, or training and experience to be more precise. The Second would be the amount of self-visibility available, or transparency between one and himself. If you know yourself well enough you will be able to understand why and how being so involved in a certain thing sati...

Granted? Or is there a certain part that yet exists and does not deserve it? From the blessings of this life is the ability to open your heart out in words, spoken with ultimate respect to The One and only, Him who knows the number of cells in each speck of grass in Central Park, Hyde Park, and every other park and green field on the face of this poor planet. There are always different ways to ask for the same thing. Creative ways are most of the time more attractive, and one exerts effort trying to convey the idea of the 'thing' that is needed through them. Efforts for His sake are always highlighted, noticed, and never are overlooked, and that is one truth that looks me up the face every morning. Guidance and protection against evil are what the good hearts ask for. May we and our beloved ones be of those, Amen!

"..*Static*..Mayday, mayday.. we're taking multiple bandits.. over! we need backup, NOW!... *fading*" Yeah, fading, disappearing. In need for a change at a point near in the future. My readings are getting more accurate by the day, my head is generating more intelligence as time passes. My dreams are providing those invisible gestures that aid me through the various issues of my everyday life indeed. Then when it comes to defense against bandits the shield wears down, and visibility is deliberately limited. A cup of cappuccino, a cheese cake, afternoon sun outside, glass protecting us from the fierce sun outside, white shiny grounds of the vast space inside the glass, a smile and a look in the eye, followed by hard pounding in the chest. The climax of the look in the loving eye has a hand that grabs your heart as it happens. A look in THE eye is different than a look in the bandit's eye, specially when the eye has the air of strong spirituality around it, the one that...